Rebuilding After Failure: Finding Strength in Adversity

Keywords: Psychological wellbeing, leadership development, resilience, coaching

Author: Dr Anna-Rosa le Roux
Date: 11 July 2024, Worklife Digital

Do you feel like you’re failing or struggling to achieve the success you want? You're not alone. Yesterday, I worked with a client who has been through immense personal trauma. In our session, we explored their struggles, uncovered hidden strengths, and began the journey of rebuilding a life of purpose, connection and resilience. This blog post is dedicated to sharing the insights and strategies we discussed, aimed at helping anyone facing similar challenges to find their strength in adversity.

His Challenges

His business “failed”
He is embroiled in lengthy legal disputes over profits in a joint venture
His wife left him due to the unbearable stress and uncertainty
He has three children and struggles to be the role model he envisioned
Once an avid sportsman, he has stopped working out and abandoned his fitness regime

Despite these setbacks, he remains a serious entrepreneur, having just launched a new venture in the construction industry. In his own words, “It is hard for me in this phase of my life.” Knowing him from previous business engagements, this admission speaks volumes about his current struggle. Once a resilient, successful businessman, he now feels like he is breaking apart.

Seeking Help - Working on Social Wellbeing

He sought our help because he needed someone to talk to about his personal journey. His self-confidence had plummeted after failing to secure any jobs he applied for. His energy was drained, and he couldn't engage productively with anyone. We found that his social well-being was critically at risk. This was a real concern. In a recent report published by the World Wellbeing Policy forum, the risk of increased mortality associated with social disconnection was comparable to the risk of mortality with smoking.

Previous negative experiences left him distrustful of society, exacerbating his psychological distress and social disconnection. This made it difficult for him to build healthy relationships, often leaving him despondent and contemplating leaving the country in search of new opportunities.

Despite past negative social experiences, he recognized the importance of social well-being and sought acceptance outside of work. Joining a running club provided him with positive social connections, respect, and inclusion, regardless of his life circumstances. This revitalised him, and running became a core part of his new identity. Positive social experiences promote equal status, counteract negative stereotypes, and renew our commitment to our true selves, despite challenges we face.

As a secondary step, he was ready to reflect on his negative social experiences and explored his unconscious expectations and needs around these. He was able to reframe his experiences to a healthy level and reflected on the lessons that he could learn from these. This time, his self-confidence remained intact as he had a more realistic view of what actually played out.

Reflecting on Your Own Experience

Maybe you are also a leader or entrepreneur who feels like a failure. Perhaps you are a parent striving to be the best you can be but feeling unworthy at this time. During tough times, it's tempting to withdraw and protect ourselves from the world. However, it's precisely in these moments of vulnerability that the support of a coaching conversation and / or assessment can provide invaluable perspectives.

Understanding Wellbeing: A Deeper Exploration

To develop your wellbeing, you need confidence in your authentic self, a commitment to growth and purpose, and strong connections in your relationships. This involves answering key questions: “Who am I really? What gives me energy? What are the patterns in my relationships?”

To explore wellbeing in depth, we must first examine the unconscious processes that influence it, both within ourselves and in our interactions with groups or organisations. Secondly, unlike traditional psychology that focuses on what is wrong, positive psychology emphasises our strengths and explores how we can use these to adapt and thrive in various areas such as work, education, relationships, and leisure.

Take Action Today

Identifying areas of psychological wellbeing that hold you back, and focusing on addressing them is key to developing a strong, healthy mindset. Our free assessment helps you identify your strengths (areas where you are an ambassador) and areas where you have room to grow. Recommended guidance also helps you to focus on and develop areas of weakness and provide insight in how to use your strengths as a leader for others. Click here for your 15 min free assessment and diagnostic report.

WorkLife Digital is a global mental-wellbeing consultancy driven by the mission to improve the sustainability of businesses. Our psychological wellbeing tool, Worklife Quotient (WL-Q), is modelled on cutting-edge scientific research and provides organisation-wide measurement and intelligence on the mental wellbeing levels and psychological resilience of staff. WL-Q also assesses the impact of organisational practices (i.e. people and culture, leadership styles, organisational purpose and values, social impact) that have a direct influence on staff wellbeing and provides strategic recommendations on addressing risks and promoting strengths.

For more information, get in touch at anna-rosa@worklife.digital