Overcoming the Outsider Syndrome: A Coaching Success Story

Keywords: Psychological wellbeing, leadership development, resilience, coaching, mental health

Author: Dr Anna-Rosa le Roux
Date: 16 July 2024, Worklife Digital

The term "outsider syndrome" isn't a formally recognised psychological or business term but can be used to describe the feeling of being an outsider in a professional or social setting. It encompasses the experience of individuals who, despite their achievements and contributions, feel marginalised or disconnected from the core group or culture within an organisation. This can lead to feelings of isolation, reduced self-worth, and decreased job satisfaction, impacting both mental wellbeing and professional performance.

In the bustling corridors of corporate life, it’s not uncommon to feel like an outsider. You might excel in your role, contribute significantly to projects, and maintain professional relationships, yet still feel like you don’t quite belong. This sense of being part of an out-group can be isolating and detrimental to both your mental wellbeing and professional growth.

In a business context, someone experiencing outsider syndrome might:

- Feel like they don't belong or fit in with their colleagues.
- Perceive that their ideas and contributions are undervalued or ignored.
- Struggle with cultural or social differences that create a barrier to full integration.
- Experience imposter syndrome, feeling like they don't deserve their success or position.

Addressing outsider syndrome often involves targeted coaching and interventions focused on boosting confidence, recognizing and leveraging strengths, and creating a sense of belonging and purpose within the organisation.

I want to share the story of a coaching client of mine, originally from a developing country, who faced significant challenges despite her success.

Meet Sarah (name changed for privacy)

Sarah now works in the European Union on an expat visa. She holds a senior specialist position in a technology company and is highly respected for her knowledge. With two small children and a professional husband, she dedicates a lot of time and energy not only to her job but also to her wider family. She is the family member everyone loves to have.

Her Daily Struggle

Every morning, Sarah wakes up at 4 am to prepare for the day, cooking, preparing meals for school, and cleaning the house. She is dependent on her job for both her salary and visa, but she disagrees with the company’s direction. Her professional advice is often ignored, and she feels forced to support a strategy that goes against best practice standards. This makes her feel trapped with no way out.

The Toll on Her Health

Sarah’s exhaustion grew over time, leading to frequent doctor visits and more sick leave. She became depressed and unmotivated. The mounting stress affected her body, thinking, and personal relationships. Despite medical interventions, nothing seemed to work. She couldn’t afford to be bedridden with her workload piling up and colleagues leaving. She was the last one left to do the work, feeling completely overwhelmed.

Leaving her job wasn’t an option, as it would mean losing her visa and right to work and live in the European Union. She carried all her worries alone, never showing her fear to anyone. Eventually, her body said no more.

Seeking Coaching - Exploring Identity as a starting point

Sarah’s journey to wellbeing involved developing confidence in her authentic self and committing to growth and purpose. She needed to answer key questions: “Who am I really? What gives me energy? What are the patterns in my relationships?”

To explore these questions, Sarah had to understand the unconscious processes influencing her wellbeing, both within herself and in her interactions at work and home. Unlike traditional psychology, which focuses on fixing problems, Sarah also embraced positive psychology, emphasising her strengths and how she could use them to thrive in her professional and personal life. This approach helped her adapt and find balance across work, education, relationships, and leisure.

During our coaching sessions, we discussed healthy narcissism since Sarah scored low in this area. Healthy narcissism is a natural component of human makeup that involves strong self-regard, empathy, self-respect, and the ability to handle criticism while confidently pursuing goals and maintaining emotional resilience. Her lack of confidence hampered her ability to pursue realistic goals. She struggles with criticism and often feels inadequate or insecure, making it difficult for her to recognize her own value or that of others.

Sarah reflected on how her fear of failure is keeping her stuck and preventing her from achieving her purpose. Sarah decided to invest time in her own professional development (personal growth was a strength) and challenged herself to realise her potential.

She explored a professional society, trusted her peers, and through a referral network, landed a few job interviews.

Does This Sound Familiar?

Do you recognize some of these struggles in your own life? Do you sometimes feel trapped with no way out? Do you dis empower yourself by a fear of failure?

Take Action Now

A psychological assessment can help you identify the issues that make you feel trapped and guide you toward solutions.

Identifying areas of psychological wellbeing that hold you back, and focusing on addressing them is key to developing a strong, healthy mindset. Our free assessment helps you identify your strengths (areas where you are an ambassador) and areas where you have room to grow. Recommended guidance also helps you to focus on and develop areas of weakness and provide insight in how to use your strengths as a leader for others. Click here for your 15 min free assessment and diagnostic report.

WorkLife Digital is a global mental-wellbeing consultancy driven by the mission to improve the sustainability of businesses. Our psychological wellbeing tool, Worklife Quotient (WL-Q), is modelled on cutting-edge scientific research and provides organisation-wide measurement and intelligence on the mental wellbeing levels and psychological resilience of staff. WL-Q also assesses the impact of organisational practices (i.e. people and culture, leadership styles, organisational purpose and values, social impact) that have a direct influence on staff wellbeing and provides strategic recommendations on addressing risks and promoting strengths.

For more information, get in touch at anna-rosa@worklife.digital