Nurturing self esteem: A vital psychological ingredient for effective leadership

Keywords: self esteem, mental wellbeing, leadership, employee engagement,

Author: Lisa Munro, Anna-Rosa Le Roux

Date: 26 April 2024, Worklife Digital

In the increasingly complex landscape of leadership and management, one often overlooked indispensable trait stands out: self esteem. How leaders model behaviour, which language they use and the type of trust relationships that they build, rests fundamentally on how they value and perceive themselves. In this blog, we discuss how self-esteem, particularly its reliance on internal versus external factors, plays a pivotal role in shaping leadership dynamics and organisational outcomes.

Self esteem is a key component of mental wellbeing. At its core, self-esteem comprises two interwoven components: self-competence and self-liking. Self-competence reflects one's belief in one’s capabilities and efficacy, while self-liking encompasses an intrinsic sense of self-worth and social relevance. The balance between these elements forms the foundation of one's self-esteem, influencing decision-making processes, relationships, emotional health, and overall wellbeing in both professional and personal spheres.

Contingent self-esteem (CSE) is self-esteem that's contingent or dependent upon the social approval of others. In our era of social media, where likes and follows serve as proxies for social approval, the impact of contingent self-esteem looms large. This transactional approach to self-worth breeds a shallow form of validation, divorced from genuine human connection.

“When self-esteem becomes contingent upon external validation, it can give rise to chronic insecurity, hindering leadership effectiveness and detrimental organisational dynamics”.

Effective leaders and managers are often required to make difficult decisions and navigate conflicts that may not necessarily win them widespread favour. As such they need to get to grips with not necessarily being liked. Some leaders never master this and constantly avoid confrontation. The repercussions of contingent self-esteem can infiltrate team dynamics and organisational culture: insecure leaders and managers, preoccupied with gaining approval and validation, often exhibit behaviours detrimental to team morale and productivity. Excessive self-doubt manifests as indecision, micromanagement, and toxic positivity, creating an environment ripe for dysfunction.

Performance-based self esteem is another element of self-esteem that can have detrimental impacts to effective leadership. It revolves around deriving one's sense of self-worth primarily from achievements or performance in specific areas of life, such as academics, career, sports, or other endeavors. Performance-based self-esteem fosters a culture of competition over collaboration, stifling innovation and impeding collective progress. In this paradigm, individual achievement takes precedence over group wellbeing, eroding trust and cohesion within teams. When a leader's self-esteem is primarily tied to their performance and achievements, they may be more inclined to prioritise personal recognition and take credit for successes rather than acknowledging the contributions of their team.

This behaviour can have several negative consequences for leadership efficacy:

Diminished morale: When team members feel their contributions are not recognised or appreciated, it can lead to decreased morale and motivation. Employees may feel undervalued and unacknowledged, which can impact their engagement and commitment to the team and organisation.
Decreased trust and loyalty: Leaders who consistently take credit for the work of their team members can erode trust and loyalty within the team. Employees may perceive the leader as self-serving and may become sceptical of their intentions, leading to strained relationships and a lack of cohesion within the team.
Impaired teamwork and collaboration: When leaders prioritise their own recognition over acknowledging the contributions of others, it can hinder teamwork and collaboration. Team members may be less inclined to collaborate or share ideas if they feel their efforts will not be acknowledged or valued by the leader.
Missed opportunities for growth and development: Effective leadership involves empowering and developing team members to reach their full potential. When leaders focus solely on their own recognition, they may overlook opportunities to mentor and support the growth of their team members, ultimately limiting the team's overall potential.

Cultivating self-compassion and relational wellbeing

Scholars advocate for a nuanced approach to self-esteem, emphasising the importance of self-compassion and relational wellbeing. Rather than solely focusing on fostering high self-esteem, attention should be directed towards the processes by which individuals pursue it. Cultivating self-compassion, characterised by kindness towards oneself and acceptance of imperfection, offers a more sustainable alternative to contingent self-esteem.

Healthy narcissism, characterised by joy in accomplishments without arrogance, also plays a role in fostering a more compassionate version of self-esteem. It involves gratitude for one's talents, allowing individuals to value themselves securely and confidently, while accepting criticism constructively and genuinely caring for others and their ideas.

Healthy narcissists often make effective leaders. They have a strong belief in their own abilities and acceptance of their weaknesses, and are not afraid to take responsibility. They are also often able to motivate and inspire their team members from a place of authenticity.

Striking a balance between self-esteem and humility is imperative for effective leadership. Cultivating a culture of openness, accountability, and self-compassion enables leaders to thrive with authenticity and without seeking external validation. Embracing these principles is pivotal for fostering enduring leadership excellence and organisational prosperity.

WorkLife Digital is a global mental-wellbeing consultancy driven by the mission to improve the sustainability of businesses. Our psychological wellbeing tool, Worklife Quotient (WL-Q), is modelled on cutting-edge scientific research and provides organisation-wide measurement and intelligence on the mental wellbeing levels and psychological resilience of staff. WL-Q also assesses the impact of organisational practices (i.e. people and culture, leadership styles, organisational purpose and values, social impact) that have a direct influence on staff wellbeing and provides strategic recommendations on addressing risks and promoting strengths.

For more information, get in touch at lisa@worklife.digital