Healthy narcissism and mental health: What men can learn on International Men’s Day

Keywords: mentalhealth, healthynarcissim, rolemodel, men, accountability

Date: 19 November 2024, WorkLife Digital

When you hear the term "narcissism," it might conjure images of arrogance, self-obsession, or a lack of empathy. But not all narcissism is bad. Healthy narcissism is a vital part of our psychological makeup. It allows us to value ourselves, pursue our dreams, and maintain emotional resilience. Without it, we may struggle with self-doubt, a lack of direction, or difficulty recovering from setbacks. These seem to be increasing issues in modern times.

This year’s International Men’s Day theme, “Positive Male Role Models,” is the perfect time to explore how men can build healthy narcissism to strengthen their mental health and become role models for others.

What Is healthy narcissism?

Healthy narcissism is the opposite of feeling inadequate or insecure. It’s about recognising your own worth, having the confidence to set and achieve goals, and maintaining a strong sense of self even when facing criticism. Key attributes include:

• Self-respect

• Confidence to pursue goals

• Empathy for others

• Emotional resilience

• The ability to admire others and be admired in return

In short, healthy narcissism balances self-regard with respect for others, creating a foundation for mental wellbeing and positive relationships.

Men, mental health, and healthy narcissism

Mental health challenges among men are significant. While women may attempt suicide more often, men are nearly four times more likely to die by suicide, often due to choosing more lethal methods. Why? A big reason is that men are conditioned to suppress vulnerability and carry the weight of societal expectations to “be strong” or “go it alone.”

Healthy narcissism can help men build emotional resilience and develop a positive self-concept. However, this requires overcoming certain cultural and psychological barriers:

1. Criticism and vulnerability
   Men are often socialised to suppress vulnerability, which can make it hard to acknowledge criticism constructively. Healthy narcissism involves learning to accept feedback without losing self-respect. It’s not about being perfect but about growing from setbacks while staying grounded in self-worth.

2. Emotional connection and empathy
   Empathy—recognising and valuing others' needs—is a cornerstone of healthy narcissism. While many men are deeply empathetic, societal norms sometimes discourage open emotional expression. Cultivating empathy not only strengthens relationships but also supports emotional wellbeing by encouraging mutual understanding and admiration.

3. Self-Pride without arrogance
   Many men excel in taking pride in their accomplishments, but healthy narcissism involves balancing that pride with humility and authenticity. It’s about celebrating achievements while also recognising the value of collaboration and support from others.

How men and women differ in healthy narcissism

While healthy narcissism is important for everyone, men and women may approach it differently due to social and cultural influences:

• Confidence and self-promotion:
  Men are generally socialised to display confidence and assertiveness, which aligns with some aspects of healthy narcissism, like pursuing goals and expressing pride. Women, on the other hand, may hesitate to self-promote due to societal expectations of modesty, which can undermine their ability to celebrate achievements.

• Empathy and relational skills:
  Women often score higher in empathy and relational skills, traits that are essential for recognising others' needs. Men may need to consciously develop these qualities, particularly as they balance independence with meaningful connections.

• Handling criticism:
  Women are sometimes more prone to internalising criticism, which can lead to self-doubt. Men, conversely, may externalise criticism and respond with anger or suppress feelings, potentially preventing growth. Healthy narcissism requires finding a middle ground: learning to take feedback constructively without letting it damage self-esteem.

These differences highlight opportunities for both men and women to grow, but this International Men’s Day, let’s focus on how men can take steps to foster healthy narcissism for better mental health.

5 ways men can develop healthy narcissism

1. Practice self-compassion
   Self-respect begins with treating yourself kindly, especially during tough times. Replace self-criticism with encouragement, and recognise that failure is part of growth.

2. Embrace vulnerability
   Sharing feelings or asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. Allow yourself to express emotions authentically, knowing it will deepen your relationships and resilience.

3. Balance confidence with humility
   Celebrate your successes, but also acknowledge the support and collaboration that helped you get there. Healthy pride doesn’t overshadow others' contributions.

4. Cultivate empathy
   Actively listen to others, seek to understand their experiences, and show appreciation for their efforts. Empathy enhances connections and creates mutual admiration.

5. Welcome constructive criticism
   Instead of avoiding feedback, see it as an opportunity to grow. Remind yourself that your value isn’t diminished by mistakes or imperfections.

Why healthy narcissism matters

Healthy narcissism isn’t just about feeling good about yourself - it’s a foundation for thriving in life. It helps you set realistic goals, build resilience, and maintain meaningful relationships. For men, developing this balance is especially important in a world that often equates masculinity with stoicism and invulnerability.

By embracing healthy narcissism, men can improve their mental health, strengthen their connections with others, and build a positive self-concept that withstands life’s challenges.

Celebrating positive role models on International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day is a chance to reflect on how men can nurture their mental health and support one another. By fostering healthy narcissism, men can challenge outdated stereotypes, embrace vulnerability, and create a more balanced and fulfilling life.

WorkLife Digital is a global mental-wellbeing consultancy driven by the mission to improve the sustainability of businesses. Our psychological wellbeing tool, Worklife Quotient (WL-Q), is modelled on cutting-edge scientific research and provides organisation-wide measurement and intelligence on the mental wellbeing levels and psychological resilience of staff. WL-Q also assesses the impact of organisational practices (i.e. people and culture, leadership styles, organisational purpose and values, social impact) that have a direct influence on staff wellbeing and provides strategic recommendations on addressing risks and promoting strengths.

For more information, get in touch at lisa@worklife.digital

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REFERENCES

WHO Mortality Database (2024); Our World in Data

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-full-picture/202410/healthy-adult-narcissism-the-trait-you-do-want